Chased by a Crack Whore in Paris – Lovely City ;)

Paris is such a beautiful and lovely city full of nice, warm, welcoming people that just want you to have an enjoyable time in the world’s capital of tourism.

Yeah…right….

Let’s talk about the time a crack whore chased me back to my hostel in Paris.

We start off the evening watching the Eiffel tower as it lights up at night, sipping some cheap wine while there, all the while being harassed by gypsies.  By the time we decide to head home, it is shortly after 11pm on a warm night in Paris and me and my new bogan-miner-Queenslander friend take the metro back to our hostel.  The hostel is in China town, but it is just such a lovely and safe place to be, especially once the sun goes down!

Walking from the metro stop to our hostel, we make a pit-stop for some food along the main street and, while waiting in front of the stand for our food, two men come up to us and start talking in French.  They quickly realize that we don’t understand but, instead of leaving us alone, one man threatens to kill my friend and starts to make stabbing motions at him.  This is clearly a desirable situation in which to find oneself.  After telling the man to piss-off and grabbing our food, we promptly head back to our hostel (not the most intelligent thing to do but, given the situation and the person to whom we were saying this, this was the most appropriate thing to do – I, however, do not recommend that you do that, especially if you are in China town in Paris!).

By this point, we are only two blocks from our hostel and we are turning off of the main street and onto our side street, but, as is the wise man that is my bogan friend, good job Australia, he decides that it would be a great idea to take a photo with this passed-out crack whore that is on the street.

Yes, that’s right, there is a passed-out crack whore on the street near where we need to turn to go to our hostel.  Once again, Paris, you are outdoing yourself at every turn.

So, I comply with Mr. Bogan’s request to take a photo.  We crouch down next to the most foul smelling and disgusting creature that I have ever in my life encountered and we promptly snap a photo.  Shit, the first time it didn’t work, need to turn on the flash.  MISTAKE.  The second photo works without a hitch and the flash goes off nice and bright.  But this flash of light, from what must have seemed like God to the previously passed-out crack whore, did the trick of not just lighting our photo but also waking this monster from her drug induced coma.

We quickly realize our mistake and start walking to the hostel thinking that this creature would go back to la la land and pass out.  No, this did not happen.

She quickly begins to follow us and to moan and speak gibberish, not French, gibberish.  Maybe 5 seconds later she books it towards us – thankfully she is a crack whore and not too athletic.  Her run turns out to be more of a slow trot, but a slow trot towards us.  Naturally, Mr. Bogan thinks it is a good idea to taunt this creature – this was not a good idea.  As she gets closer to us I can see white stuff, whatever the hell it was, all over her hands and face and she is clearly on another planet at this moment – insert Mr. Mackey “drugs are bad mkay” quote here.

A few moments pass where I try to tell her to leave us alone.  Hah, like that would work!  After she lunges at us, we decide to run back to the hostel, at which point she runs after us all the way back to the hostel.  Once again, thankfully, her run is more of a trot.  We make it back to the hostel and end up safely inside where we eat our food.  Thankfully, the hostel’s front door is locked 24/7 and, though annoying during the day, we now realize why this door is always locked.

Once again, gosh, Paris is just such a nice and lovely city full of nice and lovely people.  We started the night out at the Eiffel tower, where we were hounded by gypsies, and ended the night being chased back to our hostel by a crack whore.

Bravo Paris!

 

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